virgin (other side of the) atlantic
04 november

Ok, I jumped a whole month from my last entry, but a lot of it is the kind of stuff nobody wants to hear about: shit weather, living a squat adjacent existence, hours spent lost in the streets of London, waiting for public transit without a pen or something to read, sharing one bathroom with four other guys- with nothing separating my sleeping space from same bathroom but a piece of cloth, enduring a foul smelling locker room where I have to shower since where I live we don't have one, record rainfalls, sharing one tiny wood stove with a drafty four-story building with no insulation, blah, blah, blah.

Enough whingeing (complaining), I love it here. I'm living in an 1840's pub with some great blokes, and actually get plenty of private time when they're off at work. I'm also setting up an "office" in a flat nearby and am ready for my first in-call. There's amazing stuff everywhere, London is huge, old, vibrant, different from the US in many ways:


You put your clothes in the cupboard, coming out of the closet is something that happens to dishes.

I still have to learn the art of navigating zebra crossings (pedestrian targets) let alone jaywalking in a country where people drive on the wrong side of the road, often at high speeds.

When you make your living quarters cozy and comfortable, it's described as 'homely'.

You don't have to pay for incoming calls on your mobile (cell phone), and it seems everyone has one, and this is one area where Brits have completely abandoned etiquette.

People actually say "sorry", and they're not commenting on your life.

Beware of the bottled water brand 'Great Spirit'. It's actually turpentine.

Everyone is drunk.

The media is refreshingly critical, especially when it comes to the US.

Cigarettes and surveillance cameras are everywhere but try and find a trash can.

You can show your dick in an escort ad.

Guys play football (right across the street!) with a soccer ball and rugby with a football, and there's rugby union and rugby league and when I've gotten intimate with some players I'll tell you the difference.

When I get homesick I can catch Bewitched, Friends, The Simpsons, Futurama, or The Sopranos on network TV. I tried to watch Teletubbies but it was too painful.


I had my first session last week, and it was a three-way with another escort, a gorgeous Spaniard who had everything- handsome face, awesome body, huge penis, personality- going for him except one thing, no body hair, and that's where I came in.

My first print ad has just come out and as I've been warned, I'm being pestered by wankers (no need to translate), who keep saying "I can't see you now, but are you available tomorrow?" And they keep asking for nipple play.

...and this is what defines London for me right now: All Saints, The Weakest Link, Puppetry of the Penis, Thunderbirds, MTV:UK, "One More Time" by Daft Punk, Charlie's Angels, The Dame Edna Experience, Fairy Liquid (I am addicted to Lemon Zest!), Modjo's "Lady", club music compilations.

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